Category: Thoughts
Crossfaded
I was on a self-loathe last week. I hate myself, people, and everything I did was a wrong version of an alternate universe. My head wouldn’t shut up at night and sleep til’ noon messed me up as fuck, until I thought I just need some solitary and a lil’ bit of fun.
Dear Common People
Hello, Anonymous!
Why do we talk about ourselves to stranger?
Because they don’t know well about our life, our past, our background.
Because they don’t judge, they listen.. and it is so much better.
So, let’s keep it anonymous
Let’s be stranger.
Today is Tomorrow
A white fluorescent faded light
Snore in my ear
Cuckoo in the third-quarter of night
Sunrise is near
You Caught Me
Last day of July, it was a sunny day.
I saw you flirt with the breeze as you breathe. I stole a look when you told me the story of seven seas. I knew from the first time I met you two years ago, you are something rarest I found in a million light of years. I felt the touch on the back of your hand when you still wondered if God knows that your effort is the most consistent, reliable thing in your life. I don’t even know what this kind of feeling is. You are just impossible. You told yourself you want to come back home, but you never know what is home. We met on the right time, yet you ran again. Why couldn’t I catch you?
I will be counting raindrops till we meet again. Hoping that I’ll catch you someday.
Wedding Blues Monologue: A Letter to My Bestie
Dear Debby,
Remember the last time you were crying because of an asshole that didn’t even deserve a second of your time? An asshole that we all really hated because you’ve been sucked out into a black hole everytime you guys went out.
Now, he’s gone and good God has given a chance to another man that always became a part of your life because he always been in love you since the day you guys met in high school.
Continue reading “Wedding Blues Monologue: A Letter to My Bestie”
Life Begins on 24
I think I’ve just reached a quarter-life crisis. They said life begins on 24. It was all just a splash of light. I’ll be 25 in 3 months, yet I stuck all day sit on my desk trying to figure out how things work. I got no boyfriend. I rarely go for a night out. I live in a very complex and conservatif neighborhood, some might call them bigots. I spend my pennies impulsively. I fake around just to make people shut the fuck up. I work on weekends. I’m tired. I only have a few friends to talk. I need holiday but that’s a long way to go. I’m sleepless. I have tried a lot of drugs to keep my brains work in the day. There’s a very thin line between work and home. I have a to keep my feet to stand on the ground, and yet I have no outside life. I kept thinking when all of this end.
On the bright side, I got this 9-to-9 job that I and everybody else always dreamt of. I’ve reached a level where the executive belongs to. I got my new shiny iMac 4K for free. I have the authority to tell people what to do. I’m not afraid of people anymore, I feel like I can control them.
So, what now?
I might just need to be grateful.
Endless Meetings and 5 Shots of Espresso
We always had one day prepared for a lot of meetings. I knew that today was one of those cursed day. I prepared all the things needed and a long loooong sleep the night before. I set my mood and mindset that today is going to be okay. I will pass this day alive.
I challenged myself this morning to not go back to sleep again after a walk (and had a double shot of Espresso). I went for Pokemon-hunting around the neighborhood, wrote a few things that should be done by today, read some articles on Medium, and finished a task from work. After breakfast and another double shot of Espresso, I jumped to the office with a super-caffeine rush and a feeling that my heart was going to explode. I realized that was too much shots between 3 hours.
Breathless Eyes, Lucy Colored Skies.
Catching smoke, i came up high, and from high (above), everything is seen clearly,
what is truth, society and the whole world’s mother-father (essence) is seen
here, there is very cold breeze…
Let me, stay high highlife seems like a joke, I keep on laughing..
I am lying on grass, keep rolling and burning
the road of life is tough, blow out and keep walking
I came here in taxi, in a 3D dreams waterfall
all the clocks have melted, do everything in slow-motion
in your broken heart, put a joint, the world will be seen as flower-pot,
when climbed the peak of mountain,
I saw Shiva.
Good Team, Don’t Care.
Now I kinda know (a bit) how it feels like to be a mother. Still learning though, but God knows how I tried hard to make them feel equal as their other colleagues, to be respected by clients, to learn together, and to have fun together.
I trusted them with no expectation in return. I just want them to have self-esteem because we all have been through the hardest time and passed it. We’ve been improving. A lot.
And there are so much more coming in our way. I hope we could still be together and learn that way.
Nobody can stop us anyway.
Heartbreak in Reverse
It was all started 7 years ago.
I met this guy, a mature and beautiful guy. He said he liked me. My parents liked him, my family adored him, everyone told me to be with him, yet some people had a bitter thought of the idea of me being with this guy simply because he just didn’t deserve me.
ingénue 