A Self Reminder

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Research confirms that no matter how pretty, smart, succesful and caring you are as a woman, you can never bring a man to your level. Instead, if his chronically underperforming self made his life a mess, he will pull you down with him, backed by evidence. Therefore, you should be at least be at the same level of physical and intellectual competence because you evidently can’t save a man unwilling to help himself, and he’ll struggle to see you doing better than him. So, please be with a man who can pull you up because he otherwise will pull you down with him.

I was a damn fool, won’t happen again.

Surat Terakhir

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Lebih dari 4 minggu kita tidak bersama setelah lebih dari 4 tahun lamanya, dalam kurun waktu ini banyak hal yang aku pikirkan dan doakan untuk kebaikan kita bersama di dunia hingga akhirat.

Terima kasih ya, karena telah hadir dalam hidupku… Terima kasih karena telah mengajarkan banyak hal, dan yang paling utama adalah mengajariku bagaimana menjadi seseorang yang lebih memilih untuk bersabar dan mengerti keadaan orang lain daripada mementingkan ego diri. Aku cukup membuktikan diriku dengan janji-janji sederhana yang  aku buktikan tanpa banyak kata-kata. Itu adalah pengabdian tertinggi yang bisa kuberikan untuk membalas seluruh sayangmu.

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Power’s a heady thing. Gives you swagger.

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I wanted you but never needed you.

Think about what you want from me. The opinion is yours, but the reality is mine.

Put me as a second option and I’ll put you in the past.

When you miss me, go hug the person you replaced me with.

Life indeed disappoints you so stop living in illusions and face reality.

Your absence means more to me than your presence ever did.

I hope you find someone who can tolerate you as much as I did.

When the time comes, remember:

You were just a chapter in my life, but I’m the whole book in yours.

Kau dan Aku Menuju Ruang Hampa

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Akan ke manakah aku dibawanya?
Hingga saat ini menimbulkan tanya
Engkau dan aku menuju ruang hampa
Tak ada sesiapa hanya kita berdua

Kau belah dadaku mengganti isinya
Dihisap pikiranku memori terhapus
Terkunci mulutku menjeritkan pahit

Engkau dan aku menuju ruang hampa
Tak ada sesiapa hanya kita berdua

Kau belah dadaku mengganti isinya
Dihisap pikiranku memori terhapus
Terkunci mulutku menjeritkan pahit

Hingga kau belah dadaku
Mengganti isinya dengan batu
Hingga kau kunci rapat mulutku
Engkau dan aku bumi dan langit

Efek Rumah Kaca – Kamar Gelap (2008)

Should I?

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The truth is, if you want to “find yourself,” you must first get completely and utterly lost. Lost in a good book; lost in the eyes of the perfectly wrong person for you; lost in the ideas of a philosophy, truth or belief that challenges your own philosophies, truths or beliefs; lost on a back road, dusty trail; lost in a decision, a choice you don’t know how to make; lost in something you don’t understand; lost in the true sense of the word — as in you’ve lost all sense of direction, been turned around and backwards and senseless in circles and have finally thrown your hands in the air to say: I give up.

Rindu yang selalu datang dalam kegelapan

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Mungkin Allah menghancurkanku begitu keras, begitu gelap, begitu dalam, sehingga aku tak memiliki siapapun untuk meminta selain kepadaNya.

Mungkin Allah menyingkirkan temanku, atau orang yang aku cintai dari hidupku dan mengelilingiku dengan kesendirian juga kesulitan hanya untuk mengingatkanku, bahwa Dia mencintaiku dan mencemburui hati yang berharap selain kepadaNya.

Apakah perlu terluka dulu supaya aku tau caranya sembuh?

Apakah harus dibuat payah dulu baru aku mau bersujud?

Apakah aku pantas datang kepadaNya hanya ketika duniaku diliputi gelap?

Memang, terkadang hati ini perlu ditusuk agar cahaya bisa masuk.

“Musibah yang membuatmu kembali kepada Allah itu lebih baik untukmu dari pada nikmat yang membuatmu lupa dari mengingat Allah.”

Syaikhul Islam Ibnu Taimiyah – Ja’miul Masail hal. 387

Drama Mesin Cuci

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A: Halo…

B: Salah sambung, pak!

A: Apa sih, bu? Orang saya belum ngomong apa-apa kok udah salah sambung aja…

B: Iya, ini kan bukan telepon. Ini mesin cuci. Mau nyuci pak?

A: Jangan panggil saya pak. Saya bukan opak.

B: Yaudah, kamu saya siram yah?

Langsung saja orang pertama disiram oleh orang kedua disaksikan oleh pihak berwajib dan warga sekitar yang kebetulan sedang bekerja bakti.

A: Ini apa sih, kenapa saya disiram secara tiba-tiba? Saya mau kamu laporin ke satpam? Hah.. kok kebalik? Satpam mau kamu saya laporin? Hah.. au ah capek!

B: Saya cuma mau membuktikan kalau kamu bukan opak ataupun sejenis keluarga kerupuk lainnya yang apabila disiram akan mengeluarkan suara mendesis dan melembek secara perlahan dan pasti. Tapi semua itu mungkin salahku atau aku yang terlalu curiga padamu. Aku tak tahu tapi sepertinya aku yakin dalam lubuk hatimu yang terdalam aku pernah menjadi bagian dari hidupmu walaupun cuma sebentar.

A: Mungkin sekarang aku sudah lupa mengapa aku begini karena terdistraksi hal-hal baru yang aku ketahui tapi kau tidak? Apa itu benar?

B: Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….

Perlahan tapi belum pasti, oknum kedua mendesis dan melembek seperti ciri-ciri yang pernah ia sebutkan sebelumnya.

A: Kenapa jadi kau yang mendesis dan melembek? Aku seperti kebingungan menghadapi situasi ini padahal kamu bukan siapa-siapa. Bolehkah aku pergi untuk tidak peduli dan sejenak membeli rokok walaupun itu membunuhku?

B: Karena aku adalah sejenis keluarga kerupuk, sedikit air yang kusiram tadi terpercik ke tubuhku dan hal ini membuatku demikian. Aku menyirammu untuk pembuktian kedua apakah kamu sama sepertiku atau tidak. Ternyata kita beda dan kau lebih memilih untuk membunuh dirimu sendiri daripada orang lain.

A: Apa kamu sudah selesai dengan kelakarmu yang membuat kupingku mendengar apa yang tidak ingin ku dengar? Selamat tinggal. Aku akan tutup telepon ini dan aku janji aku akan bertingkah seolah-olah tidak terjadi apa-apa. Grek!! (Ceritanya suara telepon ditutup)

B: Tuh kan, aku bilang juga apa. Kamu bahkan melupakan sesuatu yang kubilang. Walaupun itu sepele buatmu, tapi itu fatal buatku.

A: Apa itu?

B: Ini bukan telepon. Ini mesin cuci.

Run and away

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I never knew what home is until I built one. Right in front of my parent’s house, not technically built, but I made ‘a home’ out of secondhand recyclable junks and some real good friends. I founded a so-called coffee shop since August last year that now I called ‘a home’.

I worked hard every night and day to bought piece by piece of dream that I’ve always wanted. A place that I could feel like home whenever I feel lost. It’s a real thing when I put my heart and mind into it. It’s not an imaginary when I invest all my energy into it.

And of course, it’s a bit harsh when people talked shit behind it.

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How you feelin’ today?

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Dear you,

I hope you’re still shining, like that nickname that you’ve always wanted, Sunny.

I laughed my ass hard thinking about that while wiping some shits that teared down my cheek. Oh, you’re always be an irony. A contradiction that everyone talked about. A topic that everyone love and hate at the same time. Forget the hate, we can’t please everybody, can we?

You know that Monday nights when we went to our favorite place till’ midnight? God forbids and knows that I miss our time there so much. Or that Sunday afternoon when we walked together and laughed at everything life threw us. Or that Thursday nights when we randomly met at ‘that’ place getting to know each other ‘friend’. And those countless Friday & Saturday nights when we were to desperate to socialize until one of us texted each other with same template: “dmn u?”

Been almost a month since that clouds hide your shine. Darken this very city that we’ve been together almost every day since last year. You know what’s hurt the most? The fact that being left by you is actually harder than I thought. I just can’t. We just can’t.

You know, I deeply am thanking you very much to make my days brighter than ever. To made my home more ‘homey’ than it were. To gathered our good ol’ friends with similar minds and make something new out of your crazy mind. To remind me every little ‘touchy’ things that an INTJ like me never thought before. Dude, you’re like my sidekick. A sidekick that changed me a lot better.

I just wanna know that you’re still there for me every day. Or vice versa. And because of you, I pray, pray, pray, and pray harder for these cloudy season to end soon so you could come back and shine.

So, tell me, how you feelin’ today?

Elon Musk’s First Wife On What It Takes To Become A Billionaire

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You’re determined. So what? You haven’t been racing naked through shark-infested waters yet,” she writes. “Will you be just as determined when you wash up on some deserted island, disoriented and bloody and ragged and beaten and staring into the horizon with no sign of rescue? Shift your focus away from what you want (a billion dollars) and get deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs. Ask yourself what you have the potential to offer that is so unique and compelling and helpful that no computer could replace you, no one could outsource you, no one could steal your product and make it better and then club you into oblivion (not literally). Then develop that potential. Choose one thing and become a master of it. Choose a second thing and become a master of that. When you become a master of two worlds (say, engineering and business), you can bring them together in a way that will 

a) introduce hot ideas to each other, so they can have idea sex and make idea babies that no one has seen before and 

b) create a competitive advantage because you can move between worlds, speak both languages, connect the tribes, mash the elements to spark fresh creative insight until you wake up with the epiphany that changes your life.

The world doesn’t throw a billion dollars at a person because the person wants it or works so hard they feel they deserve it. (The world does not care what you want or deserve.) The world gives you money in exchange for something it perceives to be of equal or greater value: something that transforms an aspect of the culture, reworks a familiar story or introduces a new one, alters the way people think about the category and make use of it in daily life. There is no roadmap, no blueprint for this; a lot of people will give you a lot of advice, and most of it will be bad, and a lot of it will be good and sound but you’ll have to figure out how it doesn’t apply to you because you’re coming from an unexpected angle. And you’ll be doing it alone, until you develop the charisma and credibility to attract the talent you need to come with you. Have courage. (You will need it.)

And good luck. (You’ll need that too.)

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