I can see it from now.
A building that could stand by itself. People come and go, but some would call it home. They come from anywhere; friends, locals, expats, tourists, students, freelancers, millenials, you call it. Socializing, working, even sleeping, with or without me.
Where would I be by then?
So, this is it.
A 6-months resolution to myself and a promise to a good friend of mine, that:
I
Will
Start
Blogging
…No matter for busy or how fucked up my life is.
In other words, I need to keeping track of my days or my journey would be, so I could take lessons learned (like those Medium writers said) and tell my kids that “This is your Mum in the past, making her way through middle-life crisis, and finding your soon-to-be Dad so you guys don’t do the same mistakes like I did.”
Approach carefully if:
Now the introduction is done, I hope that you had gut-trembling or something resembling fun. And if you hated it, that’s just fair.
Either way, you’ve been warned.
Have you ever talked with someone new on your favorite place at a very strange time? Well, I have.
It was right before Iftar time, and I already took a seat at my new favorite coffee shop. I asked the barista to bring me a glass of water while waiting for my order to come. And suddenly, someone in their late 20s who just sat right beside my table, asked the barista about the time. So I told him that it was already Maghrib and he replied with a smile, an awkward smile I tried not to care.
“May I use your lighter?”, he asked politely
“Sure.” I passed it to him without even looked into him
He began to open a conversation, asked me where I work, whether I come here often or not, do I like coffee, something blah blah and finally asked me a permission to join me just because he didn’t want to be alone at Iftar.
I did mind a bit at that time, because I didn’t feel like talking to stranger and I wanted to enjoy my quality time after stressed out of the heavy rain and traffic. But my lips suddenly said, “Sure, why not?”
And you know what? It turned out to be a really nice conversation. We talked about ourselves, works, coffees, and our own dreams for the future without even knowing each other’s names. It was strange but it made me feel good about myself, actually. Unexpectedly being able to shared the ideas and stories with someone I just met a moment ago. I felt that we have a lot in common and who knows, maybe a chance to work with in the future. Overall, he seemed like a nice guy. Concerned about his goals, well-educated, and more importantly, he amazed me with his deep knowledge of coffee, the main subject of my final project that I’ve been researched for the last five months.
Finally, about an hour later I decided to go because my friend was already waiting in the different place. I asked his name, he asked me my number, and we just went in our own way right before my eyes. It was very quick and I was like, am I in the movie or something? What the fuck just happened? It was not my first time talking to a stranger in a strange place, but this guy was different and he really made my evening!
When I got home, and writing this piece of shit unconsciously because of too much dose of caffeine beans that I just bought impulsively at Tanamera instead of getting my projects done. Suddenly I’m quietly asking the universe…
Is there any tomorrow for us?
At the sound of my name, those two worlds on either side of me collide, and my lips meet his. Time ceases to exist, and so, apparently does any logic that my mind is hanging on to. Logic would say that this is insane; every other fibre of my being says it’s right.
– Dianne Hardy
An honorable human relationship – that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” – is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.
It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.
It is important to do this because in doing so, I do justice to my own complexity.
It is important to do this because I can count on so few people to go that hard way with me.
Now, was it even real?
I know that’s a thing I shouldn’t did in the first place. It is surely not a sin, but the most terrifying, painful one. You know, like pinching the pimples. It hurts so bad it makes my heart burns, burns, and burrrrrns.. but I bloody keep doing it over and over and over again because it felt so good and so addictive you couldn’t live without it.
Although, devious minds think alike and they said that conversations are so much better when we have something in common.
Why, on earth, am I always fancy someone so different I couldn’t even see our future together?
If there’s a place that you feel comfortable more than anything in this world, you can do any crazy thing, anything you want in your own so-called home. Then, there’s something, something you’re really afraid on the way home, something that is far from your comfort zone, and something that is going to break the rules.
The only way is turn back from where you’re standing right now, leave everything behind and start a new life..
OR
You could find a way around to get home, even if you have to cross the line.
Now, the question is:
How bad you want to get back?
Do the math.
Apologize if I’ve done something ignorant that I might do it again in the future. Although I still don’t get why because, yes, maybe I’m a prick.
Well.. Every truth has two sides of story; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either. Before you “assume”, try this crazy method called “asking”.
A quick post about this evening’s little incident.
ingénue 