On Losing People in A Battle Within Myself

One of the hardest decision in my career is when I hired and said goodbye to these girls I really cared about.

There was these two people in my team.

One of them named Riyanti. She’s by far the toughest single-mom I knew. She had this terrible Vertigo disease that made her sometimes absence from work without any news because when the headache hit, she couldn’t even get up. Over a period of two months in my team, she did really terrible task and time management. Yet she was very loyal and didn’t mind to work overtime as she usually came late to the office in order to take care of her 3 children in the morning. I didn’t criticize her for it because I don’t wanna hurt her feelings. I hoped she’d figured it out and by making her feel better, she would start doing better. It didn’t work. She was fired.

The other one, Vicky, is a young fast-learner and diligent admin probation staff for almost 4 months. Since two weeks ago, she was just disappear and nobody knows where she was. It turned out, she posted a lot of her holiday selfies when she’s gone in social media. One of my colleague feels betrayed and asked whether I wanted to continue Vicky’s probation permit or not. I feel like she deserves a second chance, I mean, I think that she was just need a time from work and too scared to tell us, despite of her family matters at her very young age that I’ve heard recently. Me and my team still hoped that she would be back to the office and at least let us know where she has been. Unfortunately, our HRD Manager have sent her a warning email regarding her absence otherwise she will be fired within this week.

I realized I had failed to do my job – to give them good feedback, to tell them the rules and whatnot – and as a result, Management had them fired this month. I lost two of my best people at once.

This is a terrible feeling and I made a promise to myself that I will never be in this situation again.

So, what I have to do now?


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